![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAfrW8ncvOZufuUlJbz-m4pDtT-mHtI3vIEuWTX9Sz9w3wKIfhxLH2rqpnnP08H3PEOJRFlWBnYTi_IAZWo5o0hOXJ5DuQhCgA3-GDoIbYlHUQtoR34-Q1zyu0SueewjG4CL_DOWJwr_s/s320/Happy_Man.JPG) |
It had its moments. |
Between 2005 and 2008 I wrote eight short radio plays for Dark Smile Productions featuring two characters called Map and Steads and including devils who want to be chefs, giant 30-foot mutant pike in the River Irwell, ghosts, singing snakes, a talking Welsh squid and Lady Alison, Mistress of Pain, the Dominatrix Detective. Mostly comic and often bizarre, you can listen to them all for free
here.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6aOOs6A6sA5vdSweexKKILjATZLdNVdMs67z7eH_x14KMW2taF98fVhyOD6YEIrAQQk2Ogqb8wATVJngM2ruAlma9YZ_gjkQtK45ziujgtil_3mv_0pVSLy5HoDOnluiwU-hx3ZjHl08/s320/Mal_Practeeeece.jpg) |
Gives a whole new meaning to 'NHS cuts'. |
Also available is
Chief Surgeon Mal Practeeeece's Theatre of Horror, a portmanteau collection containing three blackly comic radio plays by Stephen Michael Lowe, Iain Mackness and myself. My contribution is called
Hood Rats, in which Wayne, a young burglar, gets rather more than he bargained for when he breaks into the home of retired surgeon Mr Ponsonby. For a free sample, click
here.
Also, I had some fun acting, too. In Map and Steads I played Stan, an unfrocked devil, not to mention a student called Hugh, and even got to sing some folk songs in the final M&S play,
Wedding Bell Blues. In addition, I got to play the title role in Richard Delafield's plays
Ratty #1: Enter The Rat and
Ratty #2: Manimal Rising (I tried to persuade them to call it Ratty Twoey, but it was no go...)
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPwVfXQIgtbftisYcEygKGpVu3t3S1rNC2RGQTHWLpY2oCf5OF0R7Cu00yJBqXEYG1fG8BN9a27UR_Tmo1XbcyKfZHwxCXZ4FI5e_909wdFmKbwptpYNZf7JS6YiM__w9l5DgxN2DmUXo/s320/Ratty_1.jpg) |
Ratty was a drunken, gluttonous lecher. No idea why they cast me. |
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